21 Comments
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yanik's avatar

Love it. I’m a software developer and have been ruminating on ways to help catalyze the exodus off of social media to something healthier.

Also, I’m in Brooklyn as well if you’re down for a coffee! It sounds like we have similar values, including interesting stories involving Urban Outfitters - it’s where I met my girlfriend 😂

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

very cool! did you work at UO?

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yanik's avatar

Nope, I just used to practice retail therapy there because I worked across the street from the one on Broadway.

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Alex Estrada Cline's avatar

love this—it’s been hard to explain to non-online people how much my online relationships mean to me! i’m inspired to profile some of my online friends in the same way.

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

Yes it's actually so fun and heartwarming

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Jaime Derringer's avatar

I met my best friend online in the early blogging days, and we are still going strong. Meeting IRL is what solidified our friendship!

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

yess - it's all about the URL to IRL pipeline. congrats on your friendship 🥰

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Ramon Rubio de Castro's avatar

"If someone invites you, go" Opportunities arise when you keep moving, don’t stop exploring, evolving, and pushing forward.

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

Truly! Such an important reminder. And invite new friends to explore new places.

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Auste Skrupskyte Cullbrand's avatar

Fun! I created and curated exhibition 'We Met Online' in Berlin in 2016, the 'instagrammer' community was huuuuge there - we used to go on photowalks, it was so nice, everyone to different, yet similar, love this, reminded me of that :) I still think this could be achieved if some lovely Substackers met together hehe

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

Love this idea!!

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

do you have a link to this project? would love to see

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Auste Skrupskyte Cullbrand's avatar

I tried to find but the company i worked for got bough, site and insta is down :( also remembered the name fully was WeMetOnTheNet and found one submission promotion link : D Still, was really fun!

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Josefa H's avatar

This is kind of perfect for me right now, my first (and only post) is about some of the themes that you are talking about. We are not alone, we are just not seeing and connecting with the community that is out there

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

Yes. It takes some effort and care on everyone's part. Ask a new friend to do something, a coffee even, it's the first step of getting outside ourselves and into community.

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Chris Cocuzzo's avatar

Great post. So well written.

The bit at the end is the best advice, period. Just go.

I use a phrase to train myself to do just that: conscious turn in the other direction. Why that phrasing?

Found myself grumpily questioning and derailing the pathways of my own plans and plans others made for me. And to be honest, I was an anxious wreck (at times) struggling with ceding control over what I wanted vs. what was happening outside my control.

These days - and I'm working on it - I just say yes to way more. I go to things. And the outcomes are always positive. Always happy after. Always feel that the decision was the right one when I look back at it.

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

Thanks so much, Chris. Glad it lived up to my hype :) Agree on the end advice, it's resonating with a lot of readers. I totally understand the balance of anxiety vs action of going out with friends. It's a whole other beast to manage and I will cancel if I'm truly not mentally up for it. Do what's best for yourself, just keep your mind open enough to continue letting experiences and people in.

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Matilda Lucy's avatar

Such good stories Kel!

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

Thanks Matilda! Glad you like 🤠

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kev's avatar

the dad's advice is so great, thanks for sharing. these stories are all awesome!

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Kel Rakowski's avatar

Thanks Kev! Appreciate it

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