How to be seen online
When you feel invisible
I’ve talked about this before in [To Be Seen or To Be Unseen]—during my brief, failed, half-hearted attempt at being a TikTok influencer. I passed on that. Or failed. Either way, I moved on I found where I belong, here, in the writing, in faceless words.
Still, writing online means being visible. I can’t tell you how many people in my life have commented on my LinkedIn posts—how I appear so put together, in control, on top of the worlllld. Which is always half true. Or maybe sometimes all true. I call it LinkedIn drag. It’s a show. You play the part. Whether it’s on TikTok or Substack, it’s all a little performance.
But the performance performs. And it brings me joy.
I identify as an introvert IRL and an extrovert URL.
The good news: You don’t need to be seen by millions to have an impact. A modest little online crew will do the job. A handful of people who care about what you have to say can change everything.
But I get it. The hardest part is simply being seen.
I hear it from clients all the time—the biggest hurdle isn’t strategy, it’s mindset. People want visibility and fear it at the same time. And then there’s the internet itself—its beastly nature, its ugly mark on society. But there’s also real connection here. Real humans who will see you, listen to you, and read your work—if you let them.
So why do you feel invisible?
What’s holding you back from sharing who you are?
I’ve had my own reasons:
Other people are already doing it, and I’ll just be another drop in the ocean.
I don’t have anything smart to say.
People won’t understand me, or worse, they’ll judge me.
All of those things can still be true. But here’s what changed for me: I thought beyond myself.
Over the years, my work has helped others connect—to themselves, to each other, to new opportunities. From my early days of weaving to Herstory IG, to Personals on Lex, to now Work Unseen—every project started with me simply sharing what I was interested in.
And career-wise? The best connections I’ve made have come from putting my work out there. Even on silly LinkedIn. I’m constantly surprised by how many people in my network (and even friends) comment on my presence there. My drag.
So if you’re unsure how to be recognized, start with this:
Five Ways to Make Yourself Visible
1️⃣ Forget the Audience. Share Your Work.
Even when it’s messy—visibility isn’t about perfection. It’s about pressing post.
I recently advised a friend who’s in a transition: Start writing daily. For yourself, yes, but also publish it somewhere. I started this Substack quietly, and now I have 57 published pieces. You can start without knowing where you’ll end up.
A vow to create and publish weekly is enough. A reminder that yes, evolving is embarrassing, but worth it.
2️⃣ Be Consistent. Choose a Cadence and Stick to It.
The goal isn’t to go viral—just show up regularly. Once a week.
The quiet, consistent builders win in the long run.
When I’m feeling off, down, not in the mood—I think of
approach to consistency. Her post, A lot can change in a year, is an inspiring tale of how much simply being seen on the internet can alter the course of your life and work.3️⃣ Get in the Right Digital “Rooms.”
If you’re talking to the wrong people, it won’t matter how good you are.
Find where your work is valued. Who else is doing what you’re doing? Where are they hanging out?
“Rooms” is a very corporate-network-y word. It’s more about finding your platforms, niche communities, and people. And sometimes, the only way to figure out who your people are is by showing face, being seen. They will come to you, you will come to them.
Side note: Don’t think of internet connections as non-human entities. You will find future friends! Meet them on Zoom, meet them for coffee, develop a rapport.
4️⃣ Tell People What You Want.
People can’t help you if they don’t know what you’re looking for.
The times I’ve been specific about what I want—whether in a post, a newsletter, or a DM—have led to some of the biggest opportunities in my career.
Most recently I commented on a post on LinkedIn which led me to be interviewed by
for Laid Off (which brought a lot of you here) hello!There’s power in letting people in on your vision. They might know someone who knows someone. They might just be waiting for the chance to help. No one is a mind reader. The best opportunities I’ve ever had came because I spoke up.
5️⃣ Trust That Someone is Watching. Be Open to Being Visible.
You never know who’s reading, listening, or paying attention.
If they aren’t seeing you today, they might tomorrow—and they’ll have a whole catalog of your work to dive into.
Being seen brings opportunities, opens doors. That’s the ultimate goal for me right now.
When Herstory Instagram was at its height, I had celebrities following me—I could DM K.D. Lang on a whim, I could invite Chloë Sevigny to a launch party. But beyond that, being visible gave me credibility.
When I first started raising investor funding for Lex, the two most important introductions came from successful startup founders who had followed me on Instagram.
All I’m saying? The right people will find you—if you give them something to find.
You don’t need to be loud. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to show up—and keep showing up. 💚
I started a Substack newsletter called Mirror and Magnify last year, slowly and quietly. Due to some family emergencies, I took a few months off but I look forward to starting again very soon. It’s my way of being seen and I’ve got a few ideas as to how I can push myself a bit further. It’s quite nerve wracking but also very exciting ✨
Aw man I really love your writing style. It's so relaxed and yet potent!
Personally I am leaning into sharing my art more then my "self"...I used to be a big selfie/outfit sharer and a look at me and what I'm doing but have since leaned into sharing mostly my poetry and film photography on insta and my longer form writing on here.
Realizing that i get more dopamine from someone valuing my "work" than the other stuff...and that it's always rewarding cuz sometimes my pieces with typos and less effort get the most resoance...its such an interesting phenomenon but important cuz when we take it too seriously its like rarely paying off...
anyways I went on a tangent there but thanks for sharing your work. I am always glad I read it when I get to the end and I really value your advice as it helps me know I'm on the right track.