What They Don’t Tell You About Selling Your Company
It’s not all Techcrunch coverage and toasts of champagne. Here’s the real story, my story.
The Day We Launched
Thursday, November 7, 2019, started like any other. I was sitting at my desk on Lexington Ave, working as the photo director for Metropolis, an architecture and design magazine. Rafal Zawadzki, our Chief Technical Officer, was prepping for launch from Berlin, and we exchanged frantic WhatsApp messages during the final countdown. Lex was quietly pushed into the App Store and Google Play, and I went back to juggling my day job—“working-not-working,” as I liked to call it.
But an hour in, everything changed. We had something special. The downloads started rolling in, and even though I wasn’t from the tech world and had no idea what metrics to track, I could feel the momentum building (thankfully, Rafal knew the numbers). Within two weeks, Lex had 32,000 downloads and a 69% retention rate. I didn’t fully grasp how big that was at the time, but I knew my life was about to change. Fortunately, my Metropolis colleagues—many of them gay men and allies—were excited and supportive. They had my back the whole way.
This week, TechCrunch announced that Lex has been acquired by 9Count, with my co-founder Jennifer Lewis guiding us through the acquisition process with dedication and care. I’m the founder and former CEO of Lex, and I launched this product because it needed to exist—because thousands of queer people gave me money to make it happen. Kickstarter campaigns and fundraising parties built our MVP, powered by a community that had been neglected for too long. As someone who came into the tech world as an outsider, with a path shaped by 15 years in New York City’s design industry, I knew I was building something unique.
And yet, handing over the product you built to another company isn’t as simple as the headlines make it sound. It can be unsettling. I stepped away from Lex a year ago today, taking a sabbatical to prioritize my mental health and prevent further burnout. In January, I made the decision to step down completely, giving myself space to heal. This journey has been anything but linear, and I’m not going to write a watered-down piece about what it’s been like.
The Excitement of Success
When the news broke, we were flooded with well-wishes and congratulations from investors, founders, and people across the tech world. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the many Lexers who were disappointed, fearing that new ownership would bring unfortunate changes. The word acquired is loaded, carrying a shadowy weight for many. It sounds like success on the surface, but the reality behind the scenes was more complicated.
While Lex the app was thriving, we faced the realities of keeping it sustainable as a small company in a competitive tech landscape. We needed to find a partner to ensure Lex would continue to grow, and 9Count became that lifeline. Without 9Count stepping in, Lex might have faded into history. For that, I’m grateful that Lex lives on, and so far (it’s only been a few weeks), I’ve seen how supportive they’ve been of Lex’s vision.
But there’s another layer to this mix of emotions: I, Kel, no longer own any part of Lex. That’s a complicated reality to process. Handing over Lex has been bittersweet and sometimes surreal. I’ve had to recalibrate and let go, but it's also freed me to look forward with fresh eyes. David R., a former advisor to Lex and now a friend, reminded me recently, This is your moment. You did something so few people ever do. Use that energy to propel yourself forward, into your next adventure.
The Quiet Nostalgia of Letting Go
Lex, to me, was more than a tech company—it was a deeply personal project. In the beginning, I managed it all (when it started on Instagram) from the palm of my hand. It was me and my phone, connecting lovers and friends around the world. It was beautiful, and at times, daunting.
In 2014, I came out. Even living in a place like NYC, I still felt isolated from the queer community. That same year, I created an Instagram account, @h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y, to share the cool images I was finding of lesbians and queer people throughout history. It grew to 165K followers. While digging through a digital image archive, I found issues of On Our Backs, a lesbian erotica magazine that thrived in the 1980s and ’90s. The readers wrote witty, bold, old-school newspaper personals. They knew who they were and what they wanted—it was hot.
In 2017, I invited my @h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y audience to submit their own personal ads, which I would post on the account. I used Google Forms and Docs to format them. That’s how Lex started—literally in the palm of my hand.
Back then, people were really connecting. One person traveled from Toronto to Santa Fe for a first date that lasted two weeks—complete with camping in the desert. There were weddings. There were threesomes. Bands formed, and brunches were hosted. Real people were altering the course of their lives through Lex. That meant everything to me. From day one, all I wanted was for people to feel loved and find love—whether in friendship or partnership.
Our small, dedicated team put their hearts into Lex, creating a safe space that impacted countless lives. I’m endlessly grateful to everyone who was part of this journey, each person leaving a mark on Lex's legacy.
The Anxiety of What Comes Next
After stepping away from Lex, the question that loomed was: What’s next? As a founder, we’re often tied to the idea of constant creation and hustle. It’s easy to feel like your value is connected to the next big project. But in this phase of my life, I’m subverting that pressure. I no longer believe that “bigger and better” has to mean building something new or massive. Instead, I’m focusing on something more aligned with my values—advising founders, cultivating culture in companies, and helping others navigate their own paths.
And I rest. And I move forward—writing, posting, meeting new people. The only way to find your next move is to be in motion.
I think back to moments at Lex when I felt so calm, knowing this is what I’m working on now. No question about it. I loved the stability and clarity of “this is what I do.” Now, I’m back in the ambiguity, and it’s both unsettling and exciting.
Embracing the Emotional Ambiguity
One thing I’ve learned through this transition is that emotions are rarely black-and-white. Not that I didn’t know it before, but this change brought out all the colors. Feeling blue, feeling bright. Success and uncertainty, pride and anxiety—they are all present. Just like I adapted Lex to the needs of the community, I’ve had to embrace the emotional flexibility that comes with these changes. The key isn’t to compartmentalize or dismiss any part of the emotional experience but to let it all coexist. That adaptability has made me a more empathetic leader, founder, and advisor.
Moving Forward with Uncertainty
As I move forward, I’m leaning into the work that excites me—advising founders, building strong cultures, and sharing the lessons I’ve learned along the way. These transitions don’t have neat endings, and that’s okay. For any founder or creator going through a major shift, know that it’s normal to feel conflicted. Embrace the complexity. Let it guide you into your next chapter, whether that’s something new or simply taking time to reflect and realign.
Just this week, I had breakfast with a founder I admire who also sold her company. What started as a casual catch-up turned into a messy debrief over runny eggs and toasted pita as I unloaded my experience over the past year at Lex. She understood. She’d been there. And shared advice that had been given to her: It will take five years to find your next big thing. So I’m letting go of the timeline and embracing what comes to me, once again.
Passion will strike again—who knows where it will take me.
Media That Helped Me During My Time at Lex
Throughout my journey with Lex, certain books and podcasts gave me clarity, perspective, and strength. Listening to stories of people who had ‘been through it’ were so valuable to me. I would re-listen and re-read and find comfort in the share experience.
Books 📚
“The Hard Thing About Hard Things” by Ben Horowitz
Horowitz provides candid insights into the difficult decisions and emotional challenges founders face when running and selling a company, revealing the unglamorous side of success.
“The Karma of Success” by Liz Tran
Tran combines business strategy with mindfulness, showing how aligning with one’s spiritual and emotional well-being can drive professional success. It’s an inspiring guide for founders seeking both career growth and personal fulfillment.
“Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away” by Annie Duke
Duke reframes quitting as a strategic choice rather than failure, teaching readers how to assess when to persist or let go. A valuable read for founders who grapple with staying the course or making a change.
Podcasts 🎙
“How I Built This” with Guy Raz
Guy Raz interviews founders who share their journeys of building businesses, revealing the emotional layers behind their success. Inspiring and relatable, it’s especially insightful for those navigating transitions. The Hinge episode was a personal favorite—I listened to it about five times.
“StartUp: The Dating Ring” by Gimlet Media
This podcast offers an honest, behind-the-scenes look at the realities of starting and running a company. It covers the emotional challenges founders face, including pivotal moments like pivots, exits, and failures. The 2015 series on The Dating Ring was eye-opening, following two women founders as they raised money and built a dating app in NYC.
Lex’s journey wouldn’t have reached this new chapter without the incredible dedication and teamwork of those around me. Our core team, including Rafal Zawadzki (CTO), Maayan Elder (Head of Product), and Anita Osuala (Marketing Manager and my first hire), along with a talented group of designers, engineers, marketers, and community managers, put their hearts into making Lex what it is. Each member left a unique mark on Lex’s legacy, creating a safe space that impacted countless lives.
My co-founder, Jennifer Lewis, played a pivotal role in orchestrating the acquisition. Our Chief Product Officer, Michelle Parsons, along with Toula Sierros, will be staying on to ensure Lex continues our vision under new leadership.
First of all, congrats. Second, hello from another design industry veteran who also sold her company and was wading through the liminal for the past ~5 years! It's emotional, confusing, hard, and it's very relatable! Your post about how to cope being a CEO is also super relatable! Hi and welcome to the club for "what's next" 🫶