Welcome to the Museum of Failures 🫠
Where Setbacks Become Superpowers
Take the word Failure with a cube of sugar. 🍬 Suddenly, it's not so yuck anymore. With failure, we learn. With failure, we tried. Failure means we lived life - and now we have a story to tell.
This week, my Instagram post about my personal "Museum of Failures" went viral. Someone asked, "Why stay in a place for 15 years if you hated it?" Good question. Let me give you a tour of that particular exhibit.
Exhibit A: The 15-Year New York City Struggle
I didn't know where else to go - there was always the idea that that cloud of depression comes with you. Minneapolis? Probably just as gloomy. LA? Maybe sunshine was the answer, but we'll never know.
I stayed for the work opportunities and to figure out my life. Eventually, I learned how to manage living in NYC:
No more commuting to an office in Manhattan 🚷
Biking everywhere like an urban cowgirl 🚴♀️
Working as a freelancer or contract worker 💻
Spending most of my time in NYC parks, finding peace in Gotham 🌳
The twist? At the 15-year mark, I came out (yep, I’m gay). Suddenly, the whole city lit up with new possibilities, and the cloud cover lifted.
The Inspiration Behind the Exhibition
The idea for this "Museum of Failures" came from a woman on LinkedIn (if you're out there, thank you! I could not find the post, which I stumbled upon a few months ago). Her post was in a similar format, I think a mid-30s edition. I created my video inspired by hers - a humorous take on some of the setbacks over the course of my adult life.
Why Failure is the Secret Ingredient to Success
In the startup world, failure isn't just accepted - it's almost expected. According to PitchBook, around 3,200 private venture-backed startups in the US failed in 2023. That's in line with the general idea that up to 90% of startups fail. It's like a rite of passage.
But failure isn't a magical portal to instant success. It takes work to learn from our failures. We need time to reflect, let go of our ego, and make changes that can help our future selves. The key is to fail in a way that leaves room for future successes.
As lead researcher Lauren Eskreis-Winkler, PhD, points out in "The Exaggerated Benefits of Failure," people often don't learn from failure because it's demotivating and ego-threatening. We tend to expect success to follow failure more often than it actually does. The benefits of failure can be overrated, and both inaccurate and damaging to society if we're not careful.
Remember, success and failure are personal exhibits in our museums. We each get to define what they mean based on our own terms and values.
Reframing Failure: The Art of the Plot Twist
Letting go of expectations is like free-falling into what you truly want to do. In my 'Museum of Failures,' there's a lot to let go - mostly time. Time that passed while I was struggling. Wishing successes came sooner, wishing I got meds sooner, stopped caring what people thought sooner, got diagnosed sooner, quit sooner...
But settling into the now, I realize I'm lucky to even be here and be healthy, thriving even. After coming out at 34, I initially felt regret for experiences missed. But a friend pointed out I actually missed out on the absolute chaos of queer life in the late teens and early twenties - sometimes a horror show of emotions. At 34 I reverted back to being 25 as it was, the second act to my coming of age drama series.
Coming out 'late' at 34 had its perks. I was more established in my career and had a good support system in NYC. My straight friends, who I never felt fully connected with, became closer as I embraced my true self. Depression initially lifted, and I started going out, embracing life and experiences. Making new friends, attending parties, art shows, events - getting out of the house at least 5 nights a week and finally embracing the city I once loathed.
Years on, I'm thankful for missing those tumultuous younger years of queer experience. I've accepted that having some boring years in my 20s was okay. I had enough going on, dropping in and out of college - just trying to graduate and start my career.
Introducing the Museum of Failures Worksheet
Now, it's your turn to curate your own exhibition of growth. I've created a Google doc worksheet to help you embrace and release your failures, turning them inside out into something fresh and useful. Are you ready to become the curator of your own Museum of Failures? Make a copy and create your own museum show –
🫠 ➡️ Make a copy: Museum of Failures worksheet here ⬅️ 🫠
Remember, in this museum, every "failure" is just a success in disguise, often wearing a really awkward, slightly dated fit. Keep adding to your exhibits - your biggest flops might just become your wildest successes. #Floptina
From Exhibit to Action
Now that you've curated your Museum of Failures, let's transform these exhibits into stepping stones:
Identify patterns: Look for recurring themes. Where do you tend to struggle?
Reframe your mindset: Ask, "What did this experience teach me?"
Set SMART goals: Use your insights to create Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals. Woot!
Seek feedback: Share experiences with trusted friends or mentors for fresh perspectives.
Conclusion: Embracing Your Mess
A life without "failure" is a life without growth. Each misstep is an opportunity to learn and become more authentic. Keep adding to your museum as you evolve. Embrace the mess—it's all part of your unique story.
It’s Your Turn:
Make a copy and complete the Museum of Failures worksheet I've created.
In the comments, share your most surprising realization from this exercise.
Stay tuned for a follow-up post where I'll share some of my own museum exhibits in more detail. 🥰
This is fantastic kel. Well done!
LOVE this