Today I quit Instagram. 2014–2024.
One decade and I'm done.
2014–2024. Today I quit Instagram.
In 2014, I started @h_e_r_s_t_o_r_y during one of the most tumultuous times of my life. Just months earlier, I had left a 7-year relationship with my boyfriend and come out as gay. Navigating this new identity felt raw and isolating. I grieved the years I wasn’t out—the years I felt disconnected and alone.
But there was also hope. I was desperate to find my community, to connect with others who understood me. I poured that energy into Herstory—a space where I could channel my obsession with archival queer culture and, for the first time, feel seen.
The Instagram grew into a cult following. It was thrilling. The likes, comments, and DMs were intoxicating—a way to feel connected to people who shared my enthusiasm for queer history and culture. At the same time, I was finding my own real-life community, building friendships, and grounding myself in a social life both on and offline.
But over time, Instagram became its own beast. It brought joy, connection, and incredible opportunities. It also exposed me to the darker sides of the internet. Chasing the algorithm and the constant buzz left me feeling burnt out. And as I grew personally and professionally, I realized it was no longer a fit for who I’d become.
So today, after 10 years, I’m closing the app. Walking away from a verified account with 136K followers might seem strange, but for me, it’s an act of liberation.
I feel relief, gratitude, and a bittersweet kind of freedom. Herstory gave me so much: the seed of Lex, lifelong friends, and a deeper understanding of who I am. It’s my past now—it’s herstory.
Social media is a living, breathing part of our lives. It shapes us in ways we don’t always realize. Herstory shaped me profoundly, but I’m ready to move on and embrace what’s next.
I’m not posting this on Instagram—just a quiet goodbye.
To everyone who followed along: thank you.
I walked away from a facebook page for my therapy business with 132k followers. It’s so nice and liberating and quiet. How I actually want my life to be. I read something recently that our businesses aren’t on meta to make our businesses successful, they’re on meta to make meta successful. Today I’m starting planning some promo material to swap with the business around me, in person.
Wow. 136K followers, which cost you so much work over years. This is brave but also, I understand and appreciate the sense of liberation you talk about. In the same time, this shows something crucial: Instagram owns your contacts, not you. If you quit, you cannot take them with you. In Substack instead, you own your audience. I wrote a short piece to explain this: https://open.substack.com/pub/4two/p/how-to-own-your-audience