Connect with the ones you admire
You will change your life and achieve your dreams
How different would your life look if you actually had reached out to someone you admire. This is how I landed my first job, raised over $7M for my company (Lex), and met design collaborators that became lifelong friends.
The people I happened to admire ranged from straight-up celebrities (Todd Oldham, my fashion/design idol) to young people like me who shared similar obsessions to Rwandan basket making, Saskatchewan image archives or type/design featured in movies and television.
If you’re working on something you’re passionate about; from writing a book, creating content, building a company, starting a new career in whatever niche – simply reach out to someone you admire who are doing something similar. This is how you expand your circle of people, or knowledge.
Important to keep in mind (when messaging an admirer)
people are busy, distracted and often slow to reply -
don’t be afraid to follow up once, twice even (I am never offended by the ones that follow up with me)
Please don’t take it personally if you don’t hear back, you never know where people are in their life and might not have the mental bandwidth to connect now.
Golden Rule: Keep outreach messages SHORT AND SWEET
The 3 Types 💗
I’m here to help with some guidance on what to say when you first reach out to the ones you admire. I’ve divided them into 3 categories. Here’s how to break the ice:
Social Crush: If you’re mutuals on social - DM! You’re halfway there, they are into your content, you are into them. Sparks are flying. They most likely are within your social sphere, you can keep it light, humorous, friendly.
Compliment & Question duo. Flattery gets you everywhere and a question starts the convo. ex: “Hey! I loved your video on the bow trend, I am so sad it’s over! How long do you think it will take until everyone has pencil thin eyebrows?”
Eventually you really want to meet this person IRL or on a call. Maybe you have an idea for a project you could work on together. You both have similar interests, it could be really fun!
Random Stranger: You’re in a public space and you over hear a conversation that sparks your interest and the over hearing was unavoidable (ie: sharing a table in a crowded co-working space) Warning this is much more risky but I have done it when it’s made sense.
Excuse & introduce yourself – ex, the classic: “I couldn’t help but overhear about the project you’re working on. It sounds so fascinating – do you have a website or social, I’d love to learn more”
Alternatively, keep ‘overhearing’ / listening - find out their name/project name and internet stalk. Then DM. This is exactly how my co-founder connected with me. It works. Say a variate of the above message.
Lifelong Idol: Raising the bar you’re going to connect with the one whose work you’ve admired for years. They may be a celebrity in their industry (or in general)
Do not the fame intimidate you. They were once in your shoes. Dig deep to find their email, business address, or follow on social.
Be creative. If the first or second message isn’t working consider something more attention grabbing. Send them a zine, send them a letter, send them a mix tape or homemade tee shirt. IDK - there are ways in. I met my future boss by designing a zine.
Real Life Results
Alexandra Segreti was a textile designer at Urban Outfitters in Philly when we both starting following each others blogs. Hers on tumblr, Weird Friends, and mine on wordpress, Nothing is New. (both now defunct) I reached out to Alex via email (during the time emojis on google were so cute and tiny) and told her how much I loved Weird Friends and whatever weird sheep dog or weaving pic she might have posted that day. After a few exchanges we conceived of a weaving project together and sent each other yarn to start weaving. We met for the first time in Philly in her loft where she lived in a yurt. We spread the weavings on her bed and were in awe with their synergy. We set out to start weaving and designing textiles collaboratively – our work was featured in NY Design Week, later collabed with Anthropolgie on a rug collection. We ended our working relationship about 10 years ago but continue to be close friends, old friends. Check out our work here
This is just one story (one of my favorites) of the many instances of meeting someone I admired changed my life for the better.