This is a personal blog. I've been MIA for the past few months, tangled in a web of blankness and bleakness. But I’m back! The astrologer I consulted back in March was right – this July (and into August), I will shake off the years-long feeling of dread from 2021, 2022, 2023, and into 2024. Reminder: I stepped away from Lex in January to care for my mental health and rest.
Partly, I wasn’t writing because I was letting time slide by, quietly waiting for the next page to flip. Being comfortable doing nothing or feeling like I wasn’t progressing was difficult. Looking back at the past six months, I realize I wasn’t ‘doing nothing’ – the nothing was something, and it was restoring me.
Things I’ve Done or Tried Out (Jan 1 - July 1, 2024)
Thankful for the space and time to think, to be boring.
TikTok Shop: I got suckered into thinking I could get into this and somehow make a lot of money. Just wanted to learn something new, so I did. I learned about drop shipping (not interesting and not inspiring). Not for me. ☠️
Another TikTok Idea – Dog Cam or Mishka Vision: I bought a mini camera and attempted to get Mishka to wear it. The angles were all wrong and unable to record her cute country adventures. Inspired by a cat that has like 5M followers. ☠️
Grad School: A thing you do when you don’t know what to do next. I like educating myself. I applied to SVA’s Masters in Branding program. Excited about this program because I do love branding and learned a lot while building Lex, going through the process of a rebrand, and I love Debbie Millman (the department chair). I got in (yay!) but declined because:
I didn’t want to go into debt. ☠️
I realized after talking to a few former students, it’s going to be late nights, and I’d have to be an actual student again. ☠️
Too much time away from Ghent (upstate life) ☠️
Woven between these projects were my sad and stereotypical attempts to get into Buddhism and run a half marathon. I realized I don’t like running more than 6 miles. I don’t believe in it. ☠️
GPT and Resume Obsessions: I went down a wormhole researching best practices for resume composition. I’m an unofficial expert on resume writing. I don’t know why, but I love it. I also explored Chat GPT and how it can cure imposter syndrome. 🌟
Using these CV skills, I applied to dreaded full-time positions. I determined my skills fit with positions such as “Head of People” or “Internal Employee Communications.” The practice of job hunting in itself really helped me understand and define what I learned at Lex. Although I didn’t get one interview, I felt like I made progress with this knowledge gathering. ☠️
I really had to take a moment to reflect on ‘What I Want’ and decided to revisit the teachings of Gay Hendricks in his book The Big Leap – and hone in on my “Zone of Genius.” The Zone of Genius encompasses things you do that come naturally to you, so naturally that they are often second nature and might not be obvious to you. Working in your ‘Zone of Genius’ is when you’re not conscious of time; you’re in that flow and enjoy what you’re doing. I researched processes to help define your “genius” – one of the steps is to ask friends and family. I talked to people on the phone, I made a form asking friends to fill it out. I took notes. I’m still taking notes.🌟
I rejoined the Slack community Old Girls Club (founded by Mallory Contois) – connecting with other women who are working on their life and careers. The community is robust with resources and free workshops. I attended “Articulating Your Consulting Niche” hosted by Sweta Govani, which really opened my brain to the idea of consulting as a viable path for me. 🌟
At the end of June, after all this reflecting and the time-slipping-by feeling, I realized that who I am at my core is a solopreneur or someone who needs to direct their own career. I’m excited to share my next big steps with you all. I enrolled in a 5-week session to work 1:1 with Sweta to help me launch my consultancy, Office Kel Rakowski. Coming soon! 🌟
Hi Kel! Can I fill out the friend form? As another who can maybe never work for someone else and will probably always be a soloprenuer (but who has also thought lots about getting a *real job* and grad school and those sneaky internet money-making schemes) and also someone who’s followed your work over the years, I’d love to chat! It would be nice to reconnect anyway, but I love talking biz and trying to sort this life stuff out 💛